This past week at work was the most challenging, unpredictable and emotionally draining yet. Every week, or even every day, something happens that makes my mind boggle and I think that the scale of ridiculousness can't be tipped any further. But there's always something else. Another contradiction, another misunderstanding, another rumour. I am not used to not being able to trust the people I work with. It's something I'm told I will learn to handle, but the mere thought of having to play along while being lied to and gossiped about fills me with dread.
That said, I still mean it when I say that I love my job. It's just another one of those pesky contradictions. The kids I teach are wonderful and every day I am reminded by their energy and their innocence that I am doing it for them, because they deserve a better education. And I love how much I am learning by being here. Having a BA and an MA is all well and good, but what I learn here means so much more to me. I learn how to be. I learn about cultural differences. I learn about friendship and deceit. I observe how wonderful and loving humans can be, as well as how dishonest and selfish some people really are. It's not easy. It's confusing and tiring but I thank God every day for all of it, for every second that I can be here and grow.
I don't know if this happens in your home country, but here in Indonesia, "non-job matters" consume the energy that should be focused for work.
ReplyDeleteBut as you write, this is a good experience for you. Not everyone have the same opportunity as yours.
Good luck and keep the spirit.
*Life is not about a smooth-straight road, it is curvy and bumpy one*