White Lace & Promises

Dear readers, as I think most of you know by now, I recently tied the knot over here in Indonesia. For those of you not connected with me via facebook, here are some highlights from my wedding day.

Here we are arriving at the church. One of Hadi's cousins surprised us by hiring this vintage Mercedes for us.

We arrived together and also walked down the aisle together, with parents in tow. I have no idea if this is just the preference of our church, or a wider tradition in Indonesia. Either way, I love the symbolism of it, of the couple walking together towards marriage.

Hadi's Father's family are Bataknese, a community who have very detailed wedding traditions. Here we are following just one of those traditions: Relatives present us with an "ulos", a beautifully woven cloth that is wrapped around the couple as a sign of support. My Mum also received one, as a symbol of Hadi's family's friendship towards her.

Ladies in Red.

The ladies in red dominated the bouquet toss! Another twist on tradition from my perspective with this: the hopeful catchers included unmarried men. In this particular case however, the men stood no chance!

Hadi is the third of four sons, and also the third to marry. The tall one on the right is the 'baby' of the family!

It's hard to put in to words just how wonderful it was to have my Mum here. She nursed me back to health (after a nasty bout of food poisoning), made sure I wasn't making a huge mistake (she loves Hadi - phew!), looked beautiful in a traditional Indonesian kebaya, and gave me all the love and understanding that only a mother can.  Thanks Mummy! xxxx

Some of you may have in mind while you browse these photos, that this was the second time for me. In the early stages of planning this wedding, I wanted to keep it all very low key and inconspicuous. I presume only other second-time brides will know the feelings associated with 'doing it again'. That feeling that you don't deserve a beautiful dress because you had one already, that you shouldn't be drawing so much attention to yourself because everyone knows you did it before and 'failed'. Over time however, I came to have a different, much healthier attitude towards my wedding. Did I want it to be a very special and beautiful day for me and my partner? Yes of course. Did I want our families to have the ceremony and celebration fitting of such an event? Absolutely. Was I excited to stand next to the man I love and make a commitment to love and honour him for the rest of our lives, with God as our guide? Yes, more than words can say. So, we rented fancy outfits, ordered good food and invited lots of people. We made our commitments to each other and then we celebrated with loved ones. It was lovely.

Will some people judge me? Probably. Are some people struggling to accept my decision, and get used to this new life of mine? Yes. But, as one wise friend told me a few years ago, other peoples opinions of you are none of your business. That is not to say that you should never care what other people think of you, but simply that it's not your job to address those opinions, to try to change their minds. Just let them be. What is important is that you know what you think about yourself, and that you don't let the opinions of others (whether negative or positive) affect your life to the extent that you're not being true to yourself. I lived like that for a very long time without fully realising it or being able to act on it. Now I always know who I am, even when I don't ;-)

Someone recently commented to me that they hope this marriage lasts, unlike the last one. Well, me too! It got me to thinking about the difference between this time and that time. In many ways I don't feel like I've done the same thing twice, because I was a very different person when I got married at the age of 20. I don't want to make comparisons here, suffice it to say that this time I feel - I know - that I fully participated in the process of getting engaged and married. Although it was a huge decision which I didn't for one minute expect to be making again so soon, there is no doubt in my mind that it was the right decision.

To end, a toast: To love and to being in love. To the happy couple!