Skip to main content

free to go


A few months ago I was longing to leave Germany. Although that desire clearly had something to do with ending an eight-year relationship, it also had a lot to do with the weather! I was just daydreaming of beaches, picturing myself backpacking around NZ, pulling pints and picking fruit. It was fun to imagine the possibilities, but in reality I couldn’t afford to go anywhere for a while, so I figured I’d just stay put and save some pennies while grumbling my way through another cold dark wet winter in Bonn.

I felt positive however, that there was something waiting for me, something I was destined to see or do. All my daydreams seemed unrealistic and I felt like I was being laughed at, as though something bigger than me and my tiny perspective was at work behind the scenes, smirking at me and my clichéd thoughts of escape. When I accepted the job in Batam it felt good. Unlike my previous daydreams, teaching in Indonesia had a weight to it, a purpose and a direction. I don’t know what I’m letting myself in for, and I don’t know how it will all unfold, but that’s how it’s supposed to be.

My mental state in preparing to leave is mainly extremely positive. I am excited and I am free and I am clueless :D Of course, I also experience moments of doubt and panic, of “what the hell am I doing?” but that’s normal. It never takes long for the excitement to return because I know that however unreal it feels right now, it’s really happening: in 19 days I’ll be on my way to…to finding out what I’m on my way to!

New Horizons by David Gray 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

28

I had a birthday. My 28 th to be precise. At school I selfishly threw myself a birthday party with my grade 4 class, although I’m sure they didn’t mind eating cake or playing musical statues (to Gangnam Style) for half an hour. In the evening I celebrated with family: my mother-in-law prepared traditional Javanese food and my brother and sister-in law brought a special kind of cake that is baked layer by layer. I received parcels from faraway places, including wonderfully comfy PJs from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend in Bandung, and a lovely top from H&M’s Mama collection from my brother and his girlfriend (we’ve never met, but I’m pretty sure she played a role in choosing it). Me and my little kicker. I wouldn't normally post photos of me in my PJs, but seeing as there's a baby bump to show off, I figured I'd make an exception. So, my first birthday as an expectant mum was delicious and comfy!
Post a Comment
Read more
Since I last wrote, I had the pleasure of hosting a friend from Germany for a week. It was lovely to reminisce with someone who knew me in Bonn and to show her my life in Batam. Now I have someone far away who understands what I mean when I say "the coconuts are trying to migrate again"... Before she came, I was worried that she would be bored because I had to work every day and there's not much to do in Batam. As it turned out, we had nowhere near enough time to get everything done we wanted to, or to be bored! The highlight of her stay (for me anyway!) was our mini getaway to Bintan, an island just a 60min ferry trip east of Batam. We looked around some old buildings, took photos of very big statues, and then headed to a quiet beach resort for 24hrs of downtime.... (my apologies for the disastrous layout) Permission to skip the tedious staff meeting? Check! Lugagge? Check! Happy Travelers ready to get the bleep out of Batam? Check! Upon arrival in the capi...
1 comment
Read more