Laura Joy Land

In Batam I stand out as a white woman with blonde hair. When I walk down the street I am stared at and pointed out and commented on. Not in an unfriendly way. Just in a "I can't believe she's not brown" kinda way. I do it too. When I see white expats or tourists I have to stop myself from staring, just because they stand out to me. Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable to see them because they remind me that I too look different, that I too must look like a tourist and an outsider even though I feel increasingly at home here. To locals, white people are rich. Even if you are not rich, you won't be able to convince them otherwise. If you're white you have money and that's that. After two months here, I am starting to see what they see. When I see a white person, they look wealthy to me, even though I have no idea who they are or what their lives are like. So even though I don't like people assuming I'm wealthy when I'm not, I h...

Fun teaching a bunch of chatty, cheeky angels (added to the list of contradictions) Funny 6yr old student: (said as she was hugging me) miss have a baby? me: no, I just have a fat belly 7yr old student: why miss have hair like that? why you not have black hair like that? (points to friend's hair) me: (with a sad face) I was born with this hair. I didn't get to choose. student: (with great sympathy in her voice) Oh. Nice getting a free ojek ride Very nice drinking Indonesian shandies at Glashaus.

Okay, finally a post with words, but be warned, I was in a rather gloomy mood when I wrote this on Monday night... It is possible to be happy, to be content with your life, and at the same time to feel depressed. This is how I feel today. Although I am happy with my life and feel that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, today I feel sadness and frustration in my heart. I feel like crying but the tears don’t really come, as if my ego isn’t prepared to give in. I am so sure that everything that is happening to me is supposed to be happening and I am so grateful for all that I am experiencing, that to cry about it would seem contradictory. I find many contradictions and oddities around me. Like buying “brand new” bed linen and opening the sealed box to find strange stains on the new sheets. Like walking in to a very loud, crowded mall full of calm, quiet, unassuming people who smile sweetly. At work, colleagues say one thing to your face and another behind your back. They...

I love every minute of living and working here. Hopefully sometime soon I will have time to stop working and playing and actually write about my experiences. Until then, I hope you like my photo journal...